You are already forgiven.

It took me some time to really accept the forgiveness and grace of God. "Why?" you may ask. Probably because every time I would "mess" up, my heart felt numb. I didn't know that forgiveness for causing someone pain was that simple. I just couldn't wrap my head around it. And just to add to that, struggling a lot with low self-esteem and growing up being ridiculed after every mistake or failure did more harm than good. I really thought that serving God meant serving Him with no mistake, failure, or downfall.

"Then the Lord passed by in front of him, and proclaimed, “The Lord, the Lord God, compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in lovingkindness and truth (faithfulness);"- Exodus 34:6

I was reading Exodus 34 this morning and I had to stop and really take in the line (Read it very slowly with me lol) "slow to anger". I read it about five times and with each time, it hit my heart even harder that I really did not understand the character of God.

I had an image of God being angry at me after every mistake. But the truth was, He was actually compassionate towards me and again, "slow to anger".

The truth is, Religion taught us that we had to earn God's love. But shortly after I read this scripture, my perspective of God shifted. I now saw God with His hands wide open, welcoming me with love and grace. It became clear to me that the blood of Jesus still flowed to cover my present sins and mistakes.

"keeping mercy and lovingkindness for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin; but He will by no means leave the guilty unpunished, visiting (avenging) the iniquity (sin, guilt) of the fathers upon the children and the grandchildren to the third and fourth generations [that is, calling the children to account for the sins of their fathers].”- Exodus 34:7

Hold Up! Of course, the scripture did go on to say He will never "leave the guilty unpunished" and I know that by reading, it could instill fear but I came to realize that the scripture wanted to also show how "just" God is. God can also love us through discipline and wisdom. It won't always be easy but He is more focused on our character and not always on our comfort.

So...… For every person that is reading this that struggled or is struggling with condemnation or guilt, just know that the Lord truly cares about you and He is willing to meet us where we are. You are already forgiven. I want you to take the time out to fill your mind & heart with the possibilities of the forgiveness of God so that you can learn to forgive others. Be patient with yourself too!

Thanks for Reading!

-See you soon,

HER